Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
