After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
