How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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