god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
