I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
