but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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