Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
