please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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