I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
