D3 body, D1 cock
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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