Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
