sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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