Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
