never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
ok first of all what the fuck
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
