Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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