Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
