Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
