we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
