Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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