Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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