Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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