Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Im part way to drunk.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
