I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
