guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
