i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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