dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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