Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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