I skipped work to stalk him.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
