a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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