My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
