So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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