We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
