How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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