Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
