; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
