lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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