why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
