I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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