I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
