If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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