The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
