Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
