Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
