those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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