I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The ass gains better be worth it
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