But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
