i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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