I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
