Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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