I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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