there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
