I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
